The Filipino Mom Blog

As parents, we want our children to be good, responsible and wonderful people, better than what we have become, as we see ourselves.

How do we start teaching them to be such as we want them to be? We start with ourselves.

How do we teach honesty? Do we expect them to be honest when we tell them to tell our talkative friend on the phone that we are not home when in fact we are? Do we expect them to be honest when we shamelessly download information and pass it as “their” research project without naming the source?

Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child. By: Mary MacCracken.

How do we teach respect? We treat them with respect by speaking to them with kind words. We treat others with respect too. Do we expect them to be respectful when we have the tendency to react negatively to people around us?

How do we teach love? We start this by showing and telling them that we love them even if they commit mistakes. We show this not just through the buying of material things but taking the time to listen to what they have to say. This also starts with loving ourselves and our husbands.

How to we teach about safety? We drive safely and show road courtesy. We practice good health habits and practical precautionary measures.

How do we teach patriotism and love for the country? We recognize products made in our country, by our countrymen. We respect what nature has to offer and not do anything that will lead to its destruction.

How do we teach about being independent when we have the “yaya” or nanny do everything for our children? We should give them responsibilities to make them feel they can do things on their own.

How do we teach about loving God? We pray and we strengthen our faith in God by observing God’s teachings. Even if we profess to love God but we don’t show this through our actions, we can not be good Christians in our children’s eyes.

How do we teach having a healthy self-image? We eat healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle. We are satisfied with how we look. If we try to improve how we look, it is not just to look physically better but to be healthier.

How do we teach about self-confidence? We try to make good choices, not because we are sure of ourselves but because we have thought about the positive and negative consequences of these decisions. We readily accept challenges not to prove to ourselves and others that we are better than them but because we want to be better persons.

How do we teach them to love reading? We must first love to read. We read to them, then, we read with them.

How do we teach them to appreciate the simple things in life? We take the time to stop and smell the flowers, savor the fresh air, and be thankful for every little blessing that come our way. We stop grumbling with every little discomfort that we encounter.

How do we teach about self-control? Self-control entails a lot of things: anger management, impulse buying, time management and prioritizing the more important tasks than the more mundane tasks. If we can do these, then we have self-control.

How do we teach about controlling our anger? We try to be patient. Count to ten, breathe deeply and control our impulses. For when we don’t, we tend to say hurtful words which can cut wounds deeper than a knife could inflict.

How do we teach about obedience? We follow the rules in places we go to.

How do we teach financial responsibility? By prioritizing the more important things like sending them to school, saving for a rainy day and taking a rein on buying unnecessary things. We could teach this too by paying our bills on time, avoiding wastage and not having debt that could lead to more debt.

How do we teach them about fair play? We love them unconditionally. We do not play favorites when there is more than one child.

How do we learn about what their likes and dislikes are? We learn about what their interests are and if these are beneficial or not.

Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time. Rabbinical Saying.

We should always start with ourselves. Dig deeper and reflect on what we want our children to see in our actions and words. This is not striving for perfection as there are no perfect parents such as there are no perfect children. We just need some reminders that if we want things to be better, we start with ourselves.

Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you. Daniel Raeburn.