The Filipino Mom Blog

Bullying is probably one of the most talked about issues during parent-teacher conferences in elementary schools aside from learning milestones and difficulties. For every school, be it in the elementary grades or high school and even college level, bullying has happened to a one person that we know of.

Bullying is not something parents should ignore. There have been reported tragedies which resulted in the bully-victims taking their own lives because of the bullying that they went through.

Bullying comes in different forms, aggressive or non-aggressive ways, done repeatedly over a period of time. Teasing, spreading malicious rumors and gossip, physical abuse like kicking, punching and biting, monetary extortion, exclusion of the victim from activities, cheating and mocking are just some of the ways a bully manifests his/her dirty tactics to his/her victims.

And yes, there is bullying in the early grades.

Profile of the bully. Bullies are often stereotyped as those who are physically big. They give the impression that they are a force to be reckoned with. Bullies, however, come in different shapes and sizes. There are those who are physically small but have a posse of physically big friends who flank them wherever they go, ready to lend a fist or two if the situation calls for it. There are those who are armed with a sweet smile and a charm that is endearing to others who have no inkling about their “bullying ways”. There are those smooth operators who can bully their victims in front of others without the spectators noticing anything wrong. But there are those who are attention seekers, inflicting physical pain to their victims, especially with others looking and cheering them on.

Bullies are said to be power-tripping egotistical beings, preying on those they feel are weaker, inferior to them and can easily submit to what they want done for them. They are oftentimes insecure and bully the math whiz or the budding scientist because they themselves are not capable of what the other can do. They want to be noticed though they manifest negative actions that do not merit positive recognition from others. Some bullies have been subjected to physical and verbal abuse at home. Some have a few positive adult interactions and adult role models. Exposure to violence through different media channels are also a factor to be considered.

Bullies operate to yield power, control, dominate and subjugate their victims.

There are those seen as bullies but cannot be categorically defined as such. These are the children with behavioural problems who have difficulties in controlling their impulses. They will push, bite, punch, kick and throw things not because they want to but because they lack the capacity to control their impulses.

On the other hand, children with special needs are most likely victims of the bullies rather than being the bully themselves though this will depend on the kind of behavioural intervention that these children diagnosed with special needs get.

Next topic: Victims of the bully

For more information, visit the Homeschool United website

We are midway through summer and the kids are stating to get bored.

Most summer activities are also halfway to being done.If not, some are finished already with the courses being offered.

Let’s face it, not everyone can afford sending their children to summer activities. Apart from the expenses these will incur (enrollment fees, transportation, food, and necessary materials to be purchased like shoes and necessary clothes), plotting the logistics regarding who and when who will bring the children to the place where they will get their summer enrichment activities also needs to be done.

Most children stay at home during these days that they don’t have to go to school.

So what could be done so that they will not feel bored and restless?

Clockwise from upper right, books that teach how they can draw things, a board game, digital scrapbooking, chess and jigsaw puzzle.

These are just some of the activities that these children can do at home aside from the usual electronic hand held video games that they get to play from morning till night time:

Read the rest of this entry »

Establishing study habits is probably one of the most difficult or trying times between a parent (or both parents) and their child(ren).

Why is this so?

Children would rather play than study their lessons.

Children would rather watch their favorite television show than do their home works.

Children would rather read comic books than read their reference books.

Children would rather do other things like play games on their gaming console or chat with friends or even surf the internet rather than study.

So what should parents do?

Read the rest of this entry »

Parents of children with special needs go through some steps in caring for their child.

First is DISBELIEF.

Who would have thought that their child has special needs? Who would have thought that their child would be diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, mental retardation, learning disabilities or other conditions? They ask, “God, why does it have to be my child?”

Alongside disbelief is DENIAL.

Parents see nothing wrong with their child. It might just the child has more energy than others, or their child may just have a slower rate of understanding than other children their child’s age. Is it?

They suddenly ask questions “Maybe because children develop at different paces so my child is not exempt with this? Why are children different from one other? Why do children have their own specific talents and interests? What is my child’s special talent and interest?”

Then there’s GRIEF.

Yes, parents grieve.

They grieve the loss of their dream for their child who can never be the doctor they wanted their child to be. They grieve because no matter how much treatment or intervention is given to their child they feel that their child may not be capable of living a life like others.

They have the nagging question, “What would happen if we die (first)? Who would take care of our child?”

Questions too difficult to answer for now.

Time flies.

Parents cope differently. Read the rest of this entry »

Can your child jump, hop, skip, and gallop? Can your child button, zip and snap snaps on clothing? Can he/she tie his/her own shoes? Can he/she cut a paper with scissors with ease?

If your child is about three to four years old and your answers to the questions are mostly yes, then your child is on the right track as far as fine and gross motor skills are concerned.

Those mentioned are just some of the things that most preschoolers can already do. Activities which may sound so simple to do, yet many don’t realize their importance.

When my four-year old son was seen by a neuro-developmental pediatrician for assessment, one of the activities she asked my son to do was to cut a shape on a piece of paper using scissors. But because my son wasn’t familiar then with using scissors, he failed to do what was asked by the DevPed. “Naku Mommy, mukhang hindi pa yata nakakahawak ng scissors itong anak nyo ah,” I remembered these were the very words that the DevPed remarked while doing the assessment.

But it’s so true. My son never really got a chance to hold and explore scissors if not for that assessment. At home, scissors are just like knives that are kept away from him because of our fear that it might hurt him. And in his former school, scissors are strictly a no-no too for preschoolers as the school viewed scissors to be dangerous for kids.

But what we didn’t know was that, our seemingly being overprotective of our son deprived him to develop his fine motor skills. And so now that we are aware, we’ve erased the wrong notion and let our son use scissors, guided of course, as we do arts and crafts activities every now and then.

Aside from cutting with scissors, there are a lot of activities that we can do to help our kids enhance their fine and gross motor skills.   My son’s occupational therapist handed me a checklist of activities that we can to do to develop the skills.  Here’s a run down of those: Read the rest of this entry »