The Filipino Mom Blog

Bullying is probably one of the most talked about issues during parent-teacher conferences in elementary schools aside from learning milestones and difficulties. For every school, be it in the elementary grades or high school and even college level, bullying has happened to a one person that we know of.

Bullying is not something parents should ignore. There have been reported tragedies which resulted in the bully-victims taking their own lives because of the bullying that they went through.

Bullying comes in different forms, aggressive or non-aggressive ways, done repeatedly over a period of time. Teasing, spreading malicious rumors and gossip, physical abuse like kicking, punching and biting, monetary extortion, exclusion of the victim from activities, cheating and mocking are just some of the ways a bully manifests his/her dirty tactics to his/her victims.

And yes, there is bullying in the early grades.

Profile of the bully. Bullies are often stereotyped as those who are physically big. They give the impression that they are a force to be reckoned with. Bullies, however, come in different shapes and sizes. There are those who are physically small but have a posse of physically big friends who flank them wherever they go, ready to lend a fist or two if the situation calls for it. There are those who are armed with a sweet smile and a charm that is endearing to others who have no inkling about their “bullying ways”. There are those smooth operators who can bully their victims in front of others without the spectators noticing anything wrong. But there are those who are attention seekers, inflicting physical pain to their victims, especially with others looking and cheering them on.

Bullies are said to be power-tripping egotistical beings, preying on those they feel are weaker, inferior to them and can easily submit to what they want done for them. They are oftentimes insecure and bully the math whiz or the budding scientist because they themselves are not capable of what the other can do. They want to be noticed though they manifest negative actions that do not merit positive recognition from others. Some bullies have been subjected to physical and verbal abuse at home. Some have a few positive adult interactions and adult role models. Exposure to violence through different media channels are also a factor to be considered.

Bullies operate to yield power, control, dominate and subjugate their victims.

There are those seen as bullies but cannot be categorically defined as such. These are the children with behavioural problems who have difficulties in controlling their impulses. They will push, bite, punch, kick and throw things not because they want to but because they lack the capacity to control their impulses.

On the other hand, children with special needs are most likely victims of the bullies rather than being the bully themselves though this will depend on the kind of behavioural intervention that these children diagnosed with special needs get.

Next topic: Victims of the bully

We are midway through summer and the kids are stating to get bored.

Most summer activities are also halfway to being done.If not, some are finished already with the courses being offered.

Let’s face it, not everyone can afford sending their children to summer activities. Apart from the expenses these will incur (enrollment fees, transportation, food, and necessary materials to be purchased like shoes and necessary clothes), plotting the logistics regarding who and when who will bring the children to the place where they will get their summer enrichment activities also needs to be done.

Most children stay at home during these days that they don’t have to go to school.

So what could be done so that they will not feel bored and restless?

Clockwise from upper right, books that teach how they can draw things, a board game, digital scrapbooking, chess and jigsaw puzzle.

These are just some of the activities that these children can do at home aside from the usual electronic hand held video games that they get to play from morning till night time:

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Establishing study habits is probably one of the most difficult or trying times between a parent (or both parents) and their child(ren).

Why is this so?

Children would rather play than study their lessons.

Children would rather watch their favorite television show than do their home works.

Children would rather read comic books than read their reference books.

Children would rather do other things like play games on their gaming console or chat with friends or even surf the internet rather than study.

So what should parents do?

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Parents of children with special needs go through some steps in caring for their child.

First is DISBELIEF.

Who would have thought that their child has special needs? Who would have thought that their child would be diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, mental retardation, learning disabilities or other conditions? They ask, “God, why does it have to be my child?”

Alongside disbelief is DENIAL.

Parents see nothing wrong with their child. It might just the child has more energy than others, or their child may just have a slower rate of understanding than other children their child’s age. Is it?

They suddenly ask questions “Maybe because children develop at different paces so my child is not exempt with this? Why are children different from one other? Why do children have their own specific talents and interests? What is my child’s special talent and interest?”

Then there’s GRIEF.

Yes, parents grieve.

They grieve the loss of their dream for their child who can never be the doctor they wanted their child to be. They grieve because no matter how much treatment or intervention is given to their child they feel that their child may not be capable of living a life like others.

They have the nagging question, “What would happen if we die (first)? Who would take care of our child?”

Questions too difficult to answer for now.

Time flies.

Parents cope differently. Read the rest of this entry »

This is the part 2 of the Homeschooling in the Philippines post.

Socialization. This is one of the foremost questions that people ask to families who decided to go the non-traditional way of educating their children.

I want to ask one question: How many of you here are still friends with or in touch with your elementary or high school friends? I would even like to proudly say that our batch was a closely-knit batch for we have been classmates from Kindergarten to High school. We are still in touch with each other. We communicate through our Google group, we see each other during holidays in the province or maybe once or twice a year for reunions. But that’s about it.

Through it all, I have learned to socialize, learn manners and unwritten friendship rules and just be myself and enjoy the company of friends.

Socialization does not just limit itself to one’s peers. It goes beyond dealing with other people. Socialization in my case is not a real problem since I bring my children with me to work, twice a week. They have seen and met my husband’s friends and my friends. They are learning to (even briefly) socialize with people from different walks of life, like those food servers in the mall where we wait for my husband to pick us up before we head for home, the Kuya and Ate at work where they are being asked to request for things that I need and even socialize with my colleagues.

There, in my workplace, they have forged friendships with other children and they look forward to seeing them and playing with them. They do not really mind if at times they have difficulty having conversations with some of them.

Interactive. Learning should be interactive. Questions should be asked and answered. Answers can vary too, and the way these answers were found should vary too, for there are different sources where answers to questions can be found.

How?

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I am a special education teacher and I have three children. My eldest daughter goes to a non-traditional school. My two younger children are being homeschooled using a regular Catholic curriculum.

Homeschooling is a relatively new idea of educating children in the Philippines. There were those who scoffed at our decision to home school. The first questions we encountered were: “What about socialization?” “What about building friendships?” “It is not all about learning the academics, you know.”

Yes, I know.

Primary reason why we decided to homeschool my son Julian is because he gets easily tired and is prone to asthma attacks. For him to not miss out on learning opportunities, we decided to homeschool him until he gets stronger. He loved homeschooling so we decided to have him enrolled again this school year, along with his younger sister, Tania.

So, what are the different issues that may come up in the years that a child experiences when he/she goes through the process of being educated?

Stress. Stress comes early in the lives of school-aged children. Exams, quizzes, projects, getting up early to catch the school bus are just some of the stresses that they encounter. What about bullying? Not being to understand what the lessons are all about because the teacher talk fast? What about stress from their parents to study better because their education is expensive? There are so many different stresses that they have to go through. At an early age.

Home schooling is not that stressful when proper preparation and mindset are both done. Sure, it can be stressful too, especially if the parents-teachers are tired and not feeling well or the children do not readily comply. Otherwise, it is a wonderful learning experience for both the children and their parents.

No need to wake up early to catch the bus or avoid traffic. No need to panic when a project due today was forgotten at home. No need to panic when the child got sick or hurt at school.

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Bag? Check. Shoes? Check. Books? Check. Notebooks? Check. Change of clothes? Check. Toiletries? Check. Lunchbox? Check.

Everything is smelling new and looking new.

Wait… Camera? Check.

What’s the occasion? It’s YOUR child’s first day of school. Ever.

Days, weeks, or even months prior to one of the most exciting times in a child’s life, everything has been planned. From the schedule to the activities, clothes, and even menu of healthy snacks.

When my eldest daughter, then our only child, was ready to go to school, I already knew where I would enroll her. At this wonderful school I have heard about, where some of my students with developmental problems go to. I knew they accommodate children with special needs but I still wanted my daughter to go there.

Why? Because I wanted her to go to school with these children, not only for her to understand the kind of children I dealt with at work but for her to be able to see that people learn differently.

Why else did I want to enroll my daughter in this particular school?

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