The Filipino Mom Blog

Bullying is probably one of the most talked about issues during parent-teacher conferences in elementary schools aside from learning milestones and difficulties. For every school, be it in the elementary grades or high school and even college level, bullying has happened to a one person that we know of.

Bullying is not something parents should ignore. There have been reported tragedies which resulted in the bully-victims taking their own lives because of the bullying that they went through.

Bullying comes in different forms, aggressive or non-aggressive ways, done repeatedly over a period of time. Teasing, spreading malicious rumors and gossip, physical abuse like kicking, punching and biting, monetary extortion, exclusion of the victim from activities, cheating and mocking are just some of the ways a bully manifests his/her dirty tactics to his/her victims.

And yes, there is bullying in the early grades.

Profile of the bully. Bullies are often stereotyped as those who are physically big. They give the impression that they are a force to be reckoned with. Bullies, however, come in different shapes and sizes. There are those who are physically small but have a posse of physically big friends who flank them wherever they go, ready to lend a fist or two if the situation calls for it. There are those who are armed with a sweet smile and a charm that is endearing to others who have no inkling about their “bullying ways”. There are those smooth operators who can bully their victims in front of others without the spectators noticing anything wrong. But there are those who are attention seekers, inflicting physical pain to their victims, especially with others looking and cheering them on.

Bullies are said to be power-tripping egotistical beings, preying on those they feel are weaker, inferior to them and can easily submit to what they want done for them. They are oftentimes insecure and bully the math whiz or the budding scientist because they themselves are not capable of what the other can do. They want to be noticed though they manifest negative actions that do not merit positive recognition from others. Some bullies have been subjected to physical and verbal abuse at home. Some have a few positive adult interactions and adult role models. Exposure to violence through different media channels are also a factor to be considered.

Bullies operate to yield power, control, dominate and subjugate their victims.

There are those seen as bullies but cannot be categorically defined as such. These are the children with behavioural problems who have difficulties in controlling their impulses. They will push, bite, punch, kick and throw things not because they want to but because they lack the capacity to control their impulses.

On the other hand, children with special needs are most likely victims of the bullies rather than being the bully themselves though this will depend on the kind of behavioural intervention that these children diagnosed with special needs get.

Next topic: Victims of the bully

(Because of the current number of stork visits that we at FMB have been receiving, I felt it appropriate to repost this article which I wrote, about a year ago, at my site. I am in the hope that this will serve some sort of purpose to my co-editors (and other mothers) who are now patiently awaiting the arrival of their bundles of joy.)

Read the rest of this entry »

Wants are things that we love to have simply because. It is something we desire.

It has been said that people have unlimited wants, an endless list of what-to-haves.

When a want has been fulfilled, the next want is next in line. These wants may be important in our perspective or useful in some ways or in the latest fad/fashion or because the want is so desirable the urge to get it is so strong, even if there is really no need to do so.

Needs, on the other hand, are things necessary for us to have in order to live comfortable lives.

We need food, shelter, proper clothes, education, and medicines to make us well and healthy.

Wants versus needs is one important aspect that I feel I have to teach my children. Not just MY children but all children should know about these too.

Why? At their young age, children need to be discerning in knowing the difference between these things.

Why? To help them not to fall prey in desiring things that are not really important and to set their eyes on things that are more important.

Why? Needs are what motivate people to work more purposely towards a certain goal. Needs give purpose as well as directions to our behavior.

One can probably say that wants can give motivation, purpose and directions to behaviors.

Yes, it’s true. But meeting one’s needs may prove satisfying than getting one’s wants.

For in the long run, we learn to value things that are more essential, more important than things that may just be momentarily or fleetingly satisfying.

My husband and I feel we need to teach our children in being able to distinguish needs versus wants as they grow older.

How do we do teach these values?

We start with ourselves.

One of the things that can enhance the memory would be food. Now why would we even consider this as important?

Memory is a thinking process for recalling information among others. This is one of the many thinking processes that we need, that our children need too, when we face the day’s challenges.

So what does this mean? It means we should eat more of these kinds of food so that we can improve our memory skills. Ahem, there’s no denying we have these “duh!” moments or memory gap moments or, sige na nga, senior moments then

Do you have these in your lunchboxes?

• Foods rich in B vitamins and folic acid (dark leafy greens, strawberries and melons, beans and legumes among others)
• Antioxidants like vitamin C, E and beta carotene (berries, nuts, green tea, sweet potatoes among others)
• Omega-3 fatty acids (from fish, walnuts and flaxseed among others)

Source: http://www.helpguide.org/life/improving_memory.htm

Ok, now are you ready to tackle the challenges? For more tips, don’t forget to click that -> Feed Your Head.

Round-up will be done for posts that will make it till Friday

UPDATE :

Here’s the round-up of those who participated this week.

Mauie’s Picnic Lunch

Cookie’s Ginisang Ampalaya and Pork Steak & Fries

Maver’s Economical Chicken Curry

Lynn’s Chopsuey with Quail Eggs

TeacherJulie’s Fried Cream Dory Fillet

Imom’s Pork Patties & Mushrooms

Parents of children with special needs go through some steps in caring for their child.

First is DISBELIEF.

Who would have thought that their child has special needs? Who would have thought that their child would be diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, mental retardation, learning disabilities or other conditions? They ask, “God, why does it have to be my child?”

Alongside disbelief is DENIAL.

Parents see nothing wrong with their child. It might just the child has more energy than others, or their child may just have a slower rate of understanding than other children their child’s age. Is it?

They suddenly ask questions “Maybe because children develop at different paces so my child is not exempt with this? Why are children different from one other? Why do children have their own specific talents and interests? What is my child’s special talent and interest?”

Then there’s GRIEF.

Yes, parents grieve.

They grieve the loss of their dream for their child who can never be the doctor they wanted their child to be. They grieve because no matter how much treatment or intervention is given to their child they feel that their child may not be capable of living a life like others.

They have the nagging question, “What would happen if we die (first)? Who would take care of our child?”

Questions too difficult to answer for now.

Time flies.

Parents cope differently. Read the rest of this entry »

Week 2 of our lunchbox meme, yey! (insert banana dance here)

Leave your link and we will have these in our round-up.

We learn from each other’s preparation and so we get ideas on what to do next, plus we also get those link love. So please, go get your cameras, take a photo of what you have prepared for your loved ones, write a short and post and leave a link here. Link love will be done till Friday.

Thank you and now, I will go write my entry

And now for our participating lunchboxes:

Julie’s Field Trip Food

Mauie’s Beef Tapa and Fried Egg

Cookie’s Chef Salad and her hubby’s Christmas Ham Sandwich

Maver’s Spanish Sardines Pasta

Lynn’s Egg, Mayo and Wheat Bread Sandwich

Manang’s Organized lunchboxes (This we gotta try doing!)

Salen’s Homebaked Chocolate Chips cookies (with the recipe)

iMom’s Baked Herb Chicken Thighs with a link to the recipe here.

Lunchbox Meme for 2009 is back!

Which means it is back to work for some of us and back to school for most of the children.

I am sure we’ve had enough of those meaty food during the holidays. Now is the time to make good on our promise to have healthier food choices, for ourselves, and our family members.

Grab the badge and join us here, just leave a link if you played.

The meme will be opened every Tuesday. Final round-up will be done for entries that will make it till Friday. So now there is no excuse to let this pass as you all have four days to take photos of what you have prepared in your lunchboxes.

Share your secret recipes so we can all learn something new.

Let’s bring a whole new meaning to the word LUNCHBOX

~o0o~

Julie’s Lechon Kawali with a (sort of) recipe here

Mauie’s Big Boy had Chicken Curry Maki

Maver’s Healthy Chopsuey

Lynn’s Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger!

iMom’s Homemade Chicken Tocino (with a how-to)

Iska’s Bacon and Cheese Sandwich/Pandesal and Shrimp/Vegetable Salad

The issue on melamine-contaminated milk products coming from China has prompted neighboring countries to conduct milk products’ recall in their respective markets. As a consumer safety move, the Philippines, through the Department of Health’s Bureau of Food and Drugs has recalled late last week, milk and milk-containing products which are now subjected to testing for melamine content.

As of yesterday, BFAD has already removed four popular dairy products from the initial list of food items to be tested for possible melamine contamination. Manufactured in New Zealand and distributed locally by Fonterra Brands Philippines, these four products include Anchor Lite Milk, Anlene Milk Low Fat, Anmum Materna, and Anmum Materna Chocolate.

The delisting of the four milk products leaves 52 more that are to be tested by BFAD for melamine contamination and partial results of the tests on some other milk brands will come out hopefully this week.

This latest product recall has created somewhat of a puzzle yet to be resolved and for some panic, especially to mothers, who, according to latest market researches and studies, are said to be the most powerful consumers of all time considering their decision-making power as far as buying consumer products are concerned. And milk, being the food staple of non-breastfeeding kids is definitely one of these products.

In situations where product recall is happening, what is the best to do? How do mothers take on the issue? Debbie LaCroix, a parent and proactive consumer advocate gives us a handful of suggestions and tips on what to do if products that we happen to buy for our kids gets recalled and how to avoid buying items that may be recalled in the future: Read the rest of this entry »

I have always dreamed of having a flower garden. Wouldn’t it be nice to wake up to colorful blooms everyday? What about butterflies and birds merrily playing in the garden amidst the flowers?

I started having a garden years ago when I started to collect orchids and indoor ornamental plants. But alas, my thumb wasn’t green enough to sustain the life of these unfortunate plants. These all died after a few months. Or maybe even weeks.

I have tried again, last year. We got several grown plants with blooms but the dog thought these were toys and managed to uproot several. So the plans to have this flower garden was botched again.

My husband has been talking about having our own farm and planting plants that will yield fresh produce for our own consumption. A vegetable garden in one area, some fruit-bearing trees in another, and maybe a few chickens that will bring fresh eggs. A part of the plan will be an area for dog breeding, if it is still possible. He said a flower garden would be nice but for what purpose since we can’t use those flowers anyway.

Ok, now I am starting to be convinced to start a vegetable garden.

Read the rest of this entry »

Losing weight in itself is a challenge. Losing weight after pregnancy makes the challenge even more difficult. I should know - I’ve been pregnant three times.

Through all three pregnancies, I’ve accumulated about forty whopping pounds. The picture literally did not look so good. What makes post-pregnancy weight loss so frustrating is that the pounds don’t seem to keep off for long. This was my constant struggle - the yo-yoing.

How do we, post-pregnancy mothers, get started on weight loss? What can we do to keep ourselves on track? I don’t claim to be a fitness guru - naaah, far cry! But I have been successful in losing a good amount of my triple post-pregnancy weight gain. Here are the most important lessons I learned:

Find your motivation. Ask yourself: why do you want to lose weight? Is it for health reasons? Or, so you could fit into that gown on your best friend’s wedding? Whatever your reasons are, it should be compelling enough to sustain you. Getting started is the most difficult part, so it is important to find out what motivates you. My motivation was: I wanted to live long enough to experience spoiling my grandkids, old enough to see who will look older when we’re both in our 80s – hubby or me! Read the rest of this entry »