The Filipino Mom Blog

Parents of children with special needs go through some steps in caring for their child.

First is DISBELIEF.

Who would have thought that their child has special needs? Who would have thought that their child would be diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, mental retardation, learning disabilities or other conditions? They ask, “God, why does it have to be my child?”

Alongside disbelief is DENIAL.

Parents see nothing wrong with their child. It might just the child has more energy than others, or their child may just have a slower rate of understanding than other children their child’s age. Is it?

They suddenly ask questions “Maybe because children develop at different paces so my child is not exempt with this? Why are children different from one other? Why do children have their own specific talents and interests? What is my child’s special talent and interest?”

Then there’s GRIEF.

Yes, parents grieve.

They grieve the loss of their dream for their child who can never be the doctor they wanted their child to be. They grieve because no matter how much treatment or intervention is given to their child they feel that their child may not be capable of living a life like others.

They have the nagging question, “What would happen if we die (first)? Who would take care of our child?”

Questions too difficult to answer for now.

Time flies.

Parents cope differently. Read the rest of this entry »

As parents, we want our children to be good, responsible and wonderful people, better than what we have become, as we see ourselves.

How do we start teaching them to be such as we want them to be? We start with ourselves.

How do we teach honesty? Do we expect them to be honest when we tell them to tell our talkative friend on the phone that we are not home when in fact we are? Do we expect them to be honest when we shamelessly download information and pass it as “their” research project without naming the source?

Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child. By: Mary MacCracken.

How do we teach respect? We treat them with respect by speaking to them with kind words. We treat others with respect too. Do we expect them to be respectful when we have the tendency to react negatively to people around us?

How do we teach love? We start this by showing and telling them that we love them even if they commit mistakes. We show this not just through the buying of material things but taking the time to listen to what they have to say. This also starts with loving ourselves and our husbands.

How to we teach about safety? We drive safely and show road courtesy. We practice good health habits and practical precautionary measures.

How do we teach patriotism and love for the country? We recognize products made in our country, by our countrymen. We respect what nature has to offer and not do anything that will lead to its destruction.

How do we teach about being independent when we have the “yaya” or nanny do everything for our children? We should give them responsibilities to make them feel they can do things on their own.

How do we teach about loving God? We pray and we strengthen our faith in God by observing God’s teachings. Even if we profess to love God but we don’t show this through our actions, we can not be good Christians in our children’s eyes.

How do we teach having a healthy self-image? We eat healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle. We are satisfied with how we look. If we try to improve how we look, it is not just to look physically better but to be healthier.

How do we teach about self-confidence? We try to make good choices, not because we are sure of ourselves but because we have thought about the positive and negative consequences of these decisions. We readily accept challenges not to prove to ourselves and others that we are better than them but because we want to be better persons.

How do we teach them to love reading? We must first love to read. We read to them, then, we read with them.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Having a baby changes everything”. Of course, who would ever forget this famous tagline from those Johnson & Johnson advertisements? I guess every doting Mom in this world, especially first-time Moms like me, would whole-heartedly agree with such statement.

Because it is indeed true. Having a baby will definitely change your life. And this is not an understatement. It is especially so true for me who, although had long prepared myself in caring for an infant (after three long years of on-and-off plans and waiting), didn’t understand much what the statement truly meant until the first time I held my son in my arms.

The first of those new daily routines, the first of those sleepless nights comforting and feeding a baby-the feeling was just too overwhelming. I wondered how I was going to survive the responsibilities of motherhood. The first year was a total adjustment. From an expected routine and easy going lifestyle for over three years of just me and my Hubby, suddenly, total a turnaround took place. Our first baby became the center of our love and attention. New family dynamics developed and new beginnings were born.

Read the rest of this entry »